August 18, 2006

[Humor] Internet Gaming Forum Drinking Game

The following is based on my experiences in various and sundry Internet forums, and should not be attempted by anyone. Chances are that if you actually tried this drinking game, you'd suffer liver damage before you finished your first page of comments. I'll be updating this through the weekend with additional items, as well as adding in any good suggestions from the comments area.


Aliases

Sip each time you see an alias based on a videogame character.
Sip each time you see an alias that uses "l33tspeek."
Sip each time you see an alias based on anatomy.
Sip each time you see someone's alias mistyped.
Chug each time you see someone get upset that their alias was mistyped.
Down it each time you see someone use their real name as an alias.

Games

Sip each time you read a comment proclaiming that game X is going to revolutionize the industry.
Sip each time you read that game X wasn't anywhere near as good as they thought it was going to be.
Sip each time that someone says that the excitement over a game is making them hate that game prematurely.
Sip each time that someone uses an incorrect or out-of-date piece of information to make their case about a game.
Sip each time that someone complains about a game's price.
Sip each time that someone complains about a game's length (too short or too long).
Sip each time that someone complains about a game's ending.
Sip each time that someone asks for cheat codes.
Sip each time that someone forgets to use a "spoiler" tag or warning on a game that was released in the last 12 months.
Sip every time you see a post from someone complaining about a game that they admit they haven't played.
Sip each time that it is announced that a game is slipping.
Chug each time that someone complains that someone forgot to use a "spoiler" tag on a game that's been out for over a year.
Chug each time that someone complains that free content released after a game ships should have been included at launch.
Chug each time a game is released on time.
Down it each time a game is released earlier than expected.

Games Industry

Sip each time that someone shows a complete and utter lack of knowledge about the inner workings of the game industry.
Sip each time someone who works in the industry makes a well thought-out reply, only to have a dozen unemployed net jockeys say that they're wrong because of some misconceptions about economic theory.
Sip each time someone complains about any form of copy protection.

Multiplayer

Sip each time someone complains that there aren't enough people playing game X online.
Sip each time that someone complains about all of the idiots who play game X online.
Sip each time that someone says they were banned from a server for cheating, but they don't cheat, they just have "l33t skillz."
Sip each time that someone complains about anti-cheat software.
Sip each time that someone puts up a server for an old game.
Sip each time that someone complains about said server for not having mod X installed.
Sip each time that someone asks for a CD-key.
Chug each time that someone is given a CD-key that they asked for.
Chug each time that someone says they were banned from a server for cheating, and admit to cheating.
Down it everytime someone makes a post commending their fellow players for a game well played.

Miscellaneous

Sip every time someone makes a forum in-joke. ("Is this the patch that makes the game fun?" for Blue's News; "* I N S E R T S O M E T H I N G H E R E ' D *" at ShackNews; etc.)
Sip every time an argument breaks out over something dumb, like the cup-size reduction for Lara Croft in "Tomb Raider: Legend."
Chug every time the argument is resparked.
Down it every time the argument is resolved to everyone's satisfaction.
Sip every time someone is called an idiot.
Chug every time someone's ancestry is insulted.
Down it every time someone has something respectful said of them.
Sip every time you see a sentence with at least two typos.
Chug every time you see a post with no typos.
Down it every time you see a post that would make an English teacher smile.
Sip every time a dedicated post is made for off-topic chat.
Sip every time that off-topic chat creeps into on-topic threads.
Sip every time you see "FTW" or "FTL" in a post. ("FTW"="For the win," a reference to Hollywood Squares. "FTL"="For the lose," the opposite.)
Sip every time you see someone type "loose" when they mean "lose."
Chug every time you see a post that has no vowels in it.
Chug every time you see a post that contains only a hyperlink to the previous discussion on this same topic.
Sip every time you see a post that isn't safe for work.
Chug every time you see a post that not only isn't safe for work, but is misleadingly named. (i.e. JessicaSlumberParty at ShackNews.)
Down it every time someone links to something that you really want to blot out of your memory. (See previous bulletpoint.)
Sip every time you see a post from someone who seems to be wearing a tinfoil hat.
Sip every time you see a post from someone who makes a doomsday prediction based on a single datapoint.

1 comment:

Sarkie said...

Just been to Steampowered Forums, I'M DRUNK!!! Bad Game, very bad!!

Love "Sparkie" ARRGGH MOVE DRINK