We've been getting a lot of random crash dumps from people in the "SiN Episodes" community. When I say "random," I mean "random." There was no commonality to the dumps whatsoever. The only common thread for most were that they were running a dual-core processor.
Fortunately, one of our forum-goers found this trinket about dual-core processors, which links to a fix.
Thanks, MagicFire. Credit goes where credit is due.