March 22, 2006

[Gaming] Outed?

Supposedly, I was "outed" last night because of my choice in video games.

Some background... I have fairly wide-ranging taste in games. Some nights, I just want to blow shit up and play games like "Halo" or the "Medal of Honor" series. Some nights, I want to be scared by the likes of "Fatal Frame," "Silent Hill," or "Call of Cthulu: Dark Corners of the Earth." Some nights, I want a deep, CG-illustratd story like I get from the "Final Fantasy" games. Finally, there are nights where I want a nice, low-impact friendly romp through a cool universe...and that's evidently what "outed" me.

You see, when I picked up "CSI: Three Degrees of Murder" for my wife last night, I also prepaid for "Kingdom Hearts II" and the collector's strategy guide. I made the mistake of telling some friends from next door. I made the bigger mistake of showing them the first game.

I showed them the various worlds. I fought a Rock Titan in the Colliseum. I wandered through Halloween Town. Finally, I showed off the various summons...and that's where I made my mistake.

I summoned Simba. I summoned the Genie. I summoned Mushu...and then I summoned Bambi, who prounced around me and left magical bubbles in his wake.

After Bambi, they said that it was literally "the gayest thing that they had ever seen" and "no wonder (their) pet fag [referring to a different friend] was obsessed with the game." Then they said that I had been outed, and that my wife of 11 years is really my beard.

Now, I'm not gay, and I'm secure enough in my manliness that their jests didn't bother me. Just like a straight man can enjoy listening to "Erasure" and watching Broadway musicals, a straight man can also enjoy games like "Kingdom Hearts."

...And that's exactly what I intend to do next week when "Kingdom Hearts II" is released.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If it walks like a duck...