I'm honestly afraid of what my workweek readers are going to see when they check their RSS feeds on Monday. "What the Hell? Did Michael have a meltdown? He hardly posts at all in the last three months, and in one day, he posts from here to eternity?"
No, not melting down, just venting my pent-up energy so I can mentally prepare myself for beta on "SiN: Episodes."
Emotions always run at a breaking point during the final days of a product. People have been pouring their hearts into this game for a long time...for some, since the first game was released back in 1998.
These emotions will vent. There's no way around it. I try to vent here. I started this blog as an outlet. It's transformed over time to being a bit more than that, but it's still my outlet. I dump my emotions here so that when I'm sitting down, evaluating a problem, I have fewer mental distractions keeping me from a solution or a decision.
So far, it's been working. Since I've started this blog, my emotional state has been more balanced, and I've been able to go back over my own blog and see how my own views have changed and evolved over the years. I still see myself as a hotheaded asshole, but I don't hold onto as much anger and resentment as I used to.
Perhaps that's why people first started writing journals...the written word is a great way to solidify your emotions and feelings into a tangible form that you can leave behind. I've tried writing a journal before, but I've always been more comfortable with a keyboard than a pen.
The pen may be mightier than a sword, but a keyboard is a veritable army.